Back to Main page. Back to Main tapes page. 1 DAILY GRUNT CLASSIFIEDS FOR SALE: A 1957 SEDAN. THIS 1 CAR IS IN A 2 CONDITION. IT WAS FORMERLY OWNED BY A 3 SCHOOL TEACHER WHO ALWAYS DROVE IT 21 0 THERE IS A 4 11 IN THE BACK SEAT. IT HAS A CHROME 12 ON THE HOOD, A 5 PAINT JOB, 6 TIRES AND THE BACK OPENS INTO A 7 13 0 WILL CONSIDER TAKING A SLIGHTLY USED 14 IN TRADE. LOST: IN THE VICINITY OF 29 , A 8 FRENCH POODLE WITH 9 HAIR AND A 10 2 TAIL. IT ANSWERS TO THE NAME OF 24 0 WHEN LAST SEEN IT WAS CARRYING A 15 IN ITS MOUTH. A 1 REWARD IS OFFERED. 3 AN ADULT WESTERN TEX 26 , THE MARSHAL OF 2 CITY RODE INTO TOWN. HE SAT 22 IN HIS SADDLE, READY FOR TROUBLE. HE KNEW THAT HIS 1 ENEMY, 28 THE KID WAS IN TOWN. THE KID WAS IN LOVE WITH TEX'S HORSE, 24 0 SUDDENLY THE KID CAME OUT OF THE 7 NUGGET SALOON. "DRAW TEX," HE YELLED 21 0 TEX REACHED FOR HIS 14 , BUT BEFORE HE COULD GET IT OUT OF HIS 15 THE KID FIRED, HITTING TEX IN THE 16 AND THE 17 0 4 AS TEX FELL HE PULLED OUT HIS OWN 18 AND SHOT THE KID 30 TIMES IN THE 19 0 THE KID DROPPED IN A POOL OF 25 0 " 27 " TEX SAID, "I HATED TO DO IT BUT HE WAS ON THE WRONG SIDE OF THE 20 0 " 5 ARMY AD IF YOU PLAN ON JOINING THE ARMY, HERE ARE SOME 6 HINTS THAT WILL HELP YOU BECOME A 10 SOLDIER. THE ARMY IS MADE UP OF OFFICERS, NON-COMS, AND 11 S. YOU CAN RECOGNIZE AN OFFICER BY THE 12 S ON HIS 13 AND THE FUNNY LOOKING 19 S ON HIS 20 0 WHEN YOU ADDRESS AN OFFICER, ALWAYS SAY 14 AND SAY IT 22 0 IF YOU GET A 9 HAIRCUT, KEEP YOUR 15 S SHINED, AND SEE THAT YOUR 16 6 IS CLEAN AT ALL TIMES, YOU WILL BE A CREDIT TO THE SLOGAN: THE ARMY BUILDS BETTER 17 S. AT ROLL CALL, WHEN THE 8 SERGEANT CALLS YOUR NAME, SHOUT " 27 " LOUD AND CLEAR. YOU WILL BECOME FAMILIAR WITH WEAPONS LIKE THE .30 CALIBRE 18 AND THE AUTOMATIC 19 0 FOLLOW THIS ADVICE AND YOU MAY WIN THE...... ********** 7 CONDUCT 20 ********** JOIN THE 11 S WHO JOIN THE ARMY!! 7 SHARK STORY 28 26 PUT ON HIS 15 AS HE PREPARED TO CATCH THE 5 7 SHARK. NEXT, HE CHECKED THE 12 TO SEE THAT THE 6 18 WAS WORKING 22 0 AFTER HE PUT ON HIS LAST 3 20 , HE DIVED INTO THE 25 , AND STARTED LOOKING FOR THE 1 SHARK. HE SWAM 23 INTO THE DARKNESS. SUDDENLY, THE SHARK CAME OUT OF A 13 AND ATTACKED 28 !! BUT 28 WAS TOO 9 FOR THIS 4 SHARK, AND PULLED HIS 11 OUT OF THE 14 8 AND SCARED THE 8 THING AWAY! WHEN 28 SAW THAT THE SHARK HAD SWAM 21 AWAY, HE SWAM FOR THE SURFACE. " 27 " 28 SAID, "I ALMOST GOT KILLED!!" AND THEN HE CLIMBED OUT OF THE BATHTUB. 9 ALL-GOO FACE CREAM AND NOW, LADIES AND 16 S , AN IMPORTANT COMMERCIAL MESSAGE FROM OUR 17 , THE MANUFACTURER OF NEW, IMPROVED ALL-GOO, THE FACE CREAM FOR WOMEN OVER 30 0 ALL-GOO CONTAINS A NEW 2 INGREDIENT CALLED "HEXA-MONE" WHICH IS MADE FROM DISTILLED 19 JUICE. IF YOU RUB ALL-GOO ON YOUR 13 EVERY EVENING, YOUR COMPLEXION WILL LOOK AS 10 AS A DAISY. THE FAMOUS HOLLYWOOD STAR, 28 26 , SAYS: 10 "I USE ALL-GOO EVERY DAY, AND MY COMPLEXION IS ALWAYS 6 AND MY 11 S ALWAYS HAVE A YOUTHFUL GLOW." YES, ALL-GOO IS THE 4 CREAM OF THE STARS. REMEMBER, IF YOU WANT A SOFTER, SMOOTHER 14 GET ALL-GOO IN THE HANDY 30 POUND SIZE AT YOUR FRIENDLY NEIGHBORHOOD 12 STORE. 11 WATER BED COMPLAINT BUST-A-BUTTON AND DUCK DEPT. STORE DIX HILLS, NEW YORK DEAR SIRS: LAST WEEK I PURCHASED A 2 CONTOUR WATER BED IN YOUR STORE. I GOT IT ESPECIALLY FOR MY 4 HUSBAND WHO SLEEPS VERY 21 AND SAYS THAT 6 WATER BEDS THAT HAVE 11 S IN THEM MAKE HIS 13 ACHE. WHEN THE BED ARRIVED MY HUSBAND TESTED IT 22 AND SAID THE 8 15 WAS BENT AND KEPT PRESSING INTO HIS 16 0 HE SAYS THIS COULD LEAD TO A 10 12 CONDITION OF THE 18 0 I WOULD LIKE TO EXCHANGE THIS 9 BED FOR ONE THAT WILL ALLOW MY HUSBAND TO SLEEP 23 AND WON'T MAKE HIS 20 SORE. 21 YOURS, 24 26